Written by: Lauren Martin
Oftentimes, as children become teenagers, their desire for greater independence grows. This is a developmentally appropriate shift that typically occurs during this stage of life! However, during this time, it can be difficult to manage your own level of involvement in your teen’s life. Sometimes it might feel like you are not doing enough, or that you are doing too much. Finding the balance between these two extremes is essential when parenting a teenager.
Many may have heard of the term “Helicopter Parent.” This is a parent who “hovers over” their teen so much so that their child isn’t able to make their own decisions. This style of parenting can lead to a teenager feeling frustrated, a lack of self-confidence, and a decreased ability to learn life skills. Many parents may become more over-involved for a number of reasons: wanting to prevent their child from making mistakes, the belief that their teen might not make positive decisions, or to keep their own fears at bay. On the other hand, an under-involved parent can lead to teenagers feeling abandoned, lonely, and overwhelmed with tasks of daily living and adult decision-making. Though most parenting choices stem from good intentions, it’s best to find a balance between these two parenting styles. The following tips can help you find balance during this time of your parenting journey!
Practice Increasing Trust in Your Teen
Learning to trust your teen a bit more allows them to learn how to respond to life situations on their own, with guidance from you. This can look like giving your teen opportunities to practice being independent, such as with household tasks. It’s also important that you model to your teen that you are trustworthy by acknowledging when you make mistakes.
Consider Their Personality
While adjusting your parenting style, it’s important to consider your teen’s personality, as some kids might need more direction or more freedom, within age-appropriate limits, than others. Be sure to notice when your teen might need more guidance or more quality time spent with you, and to respond appropriately to those needs to reiterate your support for your teen.
Set Boundaries
Finding a parenting balance must include setting certain boundaries and having routine check-ins with your teen, especially regarding safety. Doing this ensures that your teen is able to practice respecting others’ boundaries and reflects your trust in your teen. You can have boundaries in your relationship while also getting to know your teen, as they learn and grow into adulthood.
Keeping these tips in mind will help you to maintain a strong relationship with your child throughout their teenage years as they learn how to become responsible and independent individuals. If you or your teen need guidance during this stage of life, consider implementing counseling services as a support.
Lauren Martin is a Clinical Intern accepting new clients at Naperville Wellness and Counseling. If you are interested in scheduling for counseling or would like more information, please contact Lauren at lmartin@napervillewellnessandcounseling.com, reach her by phone at 630-614-1164 x 8, or visit our website at napervillewellnessandcounseling.com.
Check us out on Facebook and Instagram @napervillewellnessandcounseling for mental health awareness, trends, and tips.
If you are in an emergency or need immediate mental health assistance, call 9-1-1 or go to your nearest emergency room. The National Suicide and Crisis Hotline is 9-8-8.
Reference: Gregston, M. (2011, July 15). The Over-Involved Parent. Parenting Today’s Teens. https://parentingtodaysteens.org/articles/over-involved-parenting/
