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Tips on Teaching Your Child Positive Self-Talk

February 27, 2024

Written by: Lauren Martin


These days, children and teenagers can be consistently exposed to negative messages about themselves. These messages can come from a variety of sources, including media such as music, TV, and movies, comments from family and friends, or self-comparison on social media. It’s from these sources that children can develop negative thoughts and feelings about themself. It’s common to hear kids say negative things such as, “I suck”, “I can’t do this”, “Everyone is better than me”, or “I give up.” If these ideas are reinforced, your child might start to believe that these thoughts are true.

It can be difficult to hear your child talk negatively about themself or know that they don’t have a positive view of themself. You want your child to feel more confident in who they are! Utilizing positive self-talk can help your child to increase their resiliency, confidence, and empower them to face difficult challenges now and in the future. Here are some ways that you can help teach your child to utilize positive self-talk:

Recognize Negative and Positive Self-Talk

Help your child to become more aware of their negative self-talk by recognizing it when it occurs and bringing their awareness to it. You can also help them to recognize what positive self-talk sounds like! Great examples of positive self-talk can include, “You’ll get it soon”, “I am capable”, and “I believe in myself”.

Identify Strengths

Help your child to identify their positive qualities, characteristics, and strengths! For example, you can talk about how they used their positive traits throughout their day. Focusing on strengths can help your child to reframe negative thoughts that they might have about themself.

Praise

Praise your child when you hear them using positive self-talk! By doing this, you will help encourage your child to use positive self-statements more often. Praising your child will also help to reinforce their adaptive thinking patterns, and increase their self-esteem and confidence overall.

Model Positive Self-Talk

Children often learn how to treat themself by observing how the adults in their life think and behave towards themself. If you utilize positive self-talk yourself, you will model this behavior for your child and increase the chances that they will use positive self-talk and develop more positive thinking patterns overall.

Learning how to help your child improve their self-image can be daunting and will take time. If your child needs more support in increasing their self-esteem and confidence, consider reaching out to a mental health counselor. Counseling can help children and adolescents to express themself and identify areas that they would like to improve! However, using these strategies can help your child to get started on improving their self-esteem and confidence!

Lauren Martin is a Clinical Intern accepting new clients at Naperville Wellness and Counseling. If you are interested in scheduling for counseling or would like more information, please contact Lauren at lmartin@napervillewellnessandcounseling.com, reach her by phone at 630-614-1164 x 8, or visit our website at napervillewellnessandcounseling.com. Check us out on Facebook and Instagram @napervillewellnessandcounseling for mental health awareness, trends, and tips.

If you are in an emergency or need immediate mental health assistance, call 9-1-1 or go to your nearest emergency room. The National Suicide and Crisis Hotline is 9-8-8.

References: https://www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-teach-kids-to-engage-in-positive-self-talk-5205084#toc-benefits-of-positive-self-talk

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Lauren Martin
Lauren Martin

Lauren is a graduate student and clinical intern from Lewis University where she is earning a Master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. She is also completing a concentration in child and adolescent mental health counseling and plans to work with children, teens, and families dealing with various life stressors and concerns. She strives to create an empathetic counseling environment and enjoys implementing play therapy activities with clients. Lauren’s goal is to educate and support clients in the development of positive thinking patterns, healthy coping skills, and improved communication with others.

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